In career coach Ashley Stahl’s less-than-ten-minute TED talk, she addresses one of the biggest questions we grapple with as working adults: “What is the ‘perfect’ career for me?” Once you know they answer to this question, you have the answer to the question of “What is the ‘perfect’ business for me to start?” If you are doing something that is “perfect” for you every day, there is no better way to be happier with your career and with your life.
Yes, I say perfect with some reservation, because there may not be just one perfect career path for you. There might be three pretty awesome ones you have to decide between, and that’s perfectly okay. But the insight that Stahl offers in her TED talk is so simple yet powerful. She goes on to address a question that most of the time we do anything in our power not to dwell on (we’ll get to that later). But first she begins with a bit of her own story.
At age 22, Stahl was set on being a spy for the government. Her entire childhood was spent preparing for her “dream job,” and she had completely immersed herself in anything that would bring her closer to it. Yet one day at work, someone asked her to hold their gun for just a moment while they tied their shoe. She felt like she was “holding death” in her hands, and panicked, wondering how she could ever become a spy if she couldn’t stand the act of holding a gun.
She felt like her entire identity was in conflict with her career. But on that front, she says, she wasn’t alone. According to Reuters, 75% of the U.S. population is “hiding some part of their identity at work.” At this point, Stahl hired a career coach for herself, and in her words, “In our work together I realized how important it is for all of us to tune out the social pressure to find what we love, and tune in to something more significant for your career and your life: who you are.” She came to the realization that changed her life: “Your interest in a subject does not ensure your success in a career with it. Political Science is what I love, but Career Coaching is what I am.”
In order to reach this realization, her advice for figuring out which career path you should pursue is to ask yourself three simple questions:
1. What am I good at?
Think about the skills that you have. This can be anything from math to writing to providing emotional support to friends in need. Instead of trying to figure out your “passion,” try to figure out what you are naturally good at already.
And if you’re not sure what you’re good at, then move on to the next question:
2. What do people tell me I’m good at?
Take an inventory of what other people tell you. Think about anything your friends, family, professors, or employers have given you praise for. Do people ever ask you to teach them how to do things that you do well? Or ask you advice on specific subjects? If you look at what other people have said about you, you may notice a trend that you had never even thought of before.
3. What’s holding me back?
This last question is one that most of us don’t like to dwell on. So many negative thoughts can hold you back in your career. Stahl’s tactic for career coaching is asking her clients to keep a journal for two weeks about all of their fear-based thoughts. “And guess what?” she says, “Everyone’s thoughts are the same.” The most prevalent thought holding people back from pursuing a career that embodies who they are is composed of four short, deadly words: “I’m not good enough.”
Stahl explains, “These words keep your career bar low, and they keep you striving for less in your life, and if you simply pay attention to these words, or your fears, you will rise above them. You are not your thoughts. If you open your emotional backpack and you question yourself, you will unlock your authentic career.”
Instead of letting fear of inadequacy limit your life and career to something you are only vaguely interested in, allow yourself to look these fears dead-on and rise above them. You are not alone in these thoughts. Just think: if our heroes and role models had let “I’m not good enough” get the best of them, they never would have accomplished the things we admire them for. Don’t let fear hold you back from starting a business that will give you the most authentic career you could ask for.